Denver Street Photography

The Street Photography is my holding pattern. It keeps me interested in photography. It keeps me in practice. I do it to satisfy my curiosity and test my limits. I think that all people are beautiful and that beauty is only relative anyway. I’m looking for direction, trying to determine what story it is that I want to tell. I keep expecting that I will have this epiphany, that these journalism courses I am taking will somehow trigger the creative enthusiasm that lies dormant within me.

The truth is, I am learning a lot, but it is really just the basics, and so far I am not impressed by the level of instruction I have received versus the amount of money I am now on the hook for in my pursuit of this journalism dream. This is merely my opinion, but I get the feeling sometimes that my professors are competing with me. It might just be me being paranoid or egotistical, who knows? I just felt that in some instances I was being completely ignored, shunned even, when it came to positive or even negative feedback on my work. I felt virtually ignored. This is what $20,000 plus in student loan debt gets me?

I am tempted to go it alone, to try and break in on my own, but I’m afraid I need more structure and planning. In the next two years, I will be required to perform an internship which I both dread and long for, as I believe I will be ridiculed and exposed as a no-talent fraud, but I’m holding on to the hope that just maybe I am a diamond in the rough. A guy with a chance to break out into something bigger. Isn’t that what we all want to believe? That our dreams are attainable? Realistic even?

So for now, I walk the streets with my camera and document existence. One thing about taking your camera with you everywhere that they forget to mention, it exposes how boring and mundane your life actually is. I can’t even count how many times I’ve pointed my camera at the same thing over and over again, trying to capture it in a way that I’ve never seen before. All it does is drive me crazy and give me the urge to see something new.

While I pursue my personal goals, my family life also is presenting challenges. In three weeks, my girlfriend Maizy, the mother of my child, will have her final mastectomy. I await the day with great sadness and worry for her well being. the one story to tell that has meaning, but needs to be kept private for the most part. Suddenly my petty problems pale in comparison to the love of my life having flesh removed from her body permanently. Cancer is so overbearing. It all seems so matter of fact at times. We have to plan for it, schedule it, budget for it. It hangs over our heads at every chapter in our life. It’s always “once we pay off this $5,000 bill, everything will be so much easier,” only to receive another bill in the mail we forgot about.

So I grab my camera, I take off. I walk the streets and I watch. I walk until I can’t take another step, then I shuffle slowly back home clicking all the while. Hoping for the best.

This image has nothing to do with anything I just said, other than it is street photography. Maybe I shared it because the facial expressions are an illustration of how I feel inside right now at this moment. I can’t be sure.

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Denver Street Photography

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8 thoughts on “Denver Street Photography

    • I agree. That’s been my perception at least. I go where the people congregate and it’s a tiny area compared to places like Chicago or Manhattan. I grew up here and I’m leaving soon, not because I don’t love it here, but I truly don’t recognize the city I grew up in. It’s almost a complete facelift. Everything I once loved is now gone and replaced with a Starbucks or a good resemblance of one. Denver is being Starbucked.

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  1. If it’s any solace to you, your posts very often give me the lift I need to keep going in pursuit of my own dreams. Like today, for example. Keep up the great posts and many thanks.

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  2. Great capture and a moving post. There really is always another bill. If you’re already on the hook for the money spent for the classes, I’d stick with it for the structure and for that one nugget that might come out of it that might change everything, maybe there’s an epiphany waiting. Speaking as some one who not only needs structure but has tried to go it alone, so to speak, milk every moment of guidance and or competition.
    Cheers
    G.

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    • Great comment and advice. I appreciate your insight. I need it! It would be a mistake to quit halfway through, but sometimes the ridiculousness of the entire system just gets to me. I guess I’ll just keep playing the game.

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  3. Thanks for this. As you vented your frustrations and considered the potential of being a “diamond in the rough,” you kinda vented for me, too. And you never even knew it…

    I hope all goes well for you and your family.

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